


RETURNING HOME

by hairyhue



Category: Sons of Anarchy
Genre: Gen, Multi, and some fluffy venus and juice mother son stuff, god i love juice so much, i wrote this to just get me back in the writing mood, if i do continue itll most likely contain chibs/juice, if people like it i may continue, my precious puerto rican son
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-05-26
Updated: 2018-05-28
Packaged: 2019-05-14 04:27:26
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,238
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14762588
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hairyhue/pseuds/hairyhue
Summary: Juice is on his way back to Charming.- SET AFTER SEASON SEVEN.- CONTAINS SPOILERS IF NOT UP TO DATE.





	1. ANXIOUS

Juice was returning to the streets of Charming after years of being away. After surviving almost being killed back in Stockton, he finished his sentence and got the hell away from here. He ended up back in Queens, tracking down his sister. Their reunion didn't go all that well, so he settled in an apartment near his mother's old place. It was okay.. but Juice hated being away from the Sons. His whole life had been the club, he was completely alone in a big city that held his earliest memories. It just made him more lonely. He managed two full years there, then he booked a ticket back to the place he was running from. He wasn't prepared, after everything that had went down; the way that stuff was left. He didn't even know if they knew he was alive.

He rode on bike he had bought back in Queens. Another thing that was simply okay. He hadn't even made any adjustments to it.. it was like there was a part of him that knew one day he would return to the club and get his old bike back. She was a beauty, everything that Juice would ever need wrapped up in one sweet paint job. This current bike was nothing compared to her. but it ran swiftly and didn't cost much., so it was okay. Juice breathed in shakily as he parked his bike a few minutes away from the clubhouse. He didn't want to alert them to his presence by riding in there, engine screaming. He took off his helmet and rested it on the handle. It should be okay there alone. Being on these familiar roads hit Juice like a brick to the head. His lungs felt heavy and his heart hammered in his chest. All of the memories he had blocked out were starting to come back. He pulled a small pill bottle out from his pocket and opened the lid, shaking a few white pills into the palm of his hand before chucking them into his mouth and crunching them. He was taking anxiety meds now, it helped a little. Juice had mostly ignored all his problems, choosing to push them away rather than try to overcome them. That was probably his biggest mistake.

When he came out of the hospital, all bandaged up, they offered him some therapy. Because, Tully had made the guards tell the doctors that he stabbed himself in the neck, that it was an act of cowardice; an attempt to end his life. The nice lady doctor put her hand on his arm and looked him in the eyes with a soft smile. 'we can get you help' she had said, her voice full of a kindness that Juice hadn't received for years. He refused, thanking her but telling her he could deal with it on his own. He was so wrong. Only a week after being let out, Juice was drowning. The nightmares and hallucinations of everything that had happened- it was too much. Luckily, he came across a bar first instead of a ledge. He got drunk and spilled his guts out to the bartender, who had ended up being so concerned about the puerto rican that he called a doctor. The next few weeks, he saw this doctor and talked to him about his suicidal tendencies. That's all he was interested in, not about any ptsd. Just wanting to die. It was probably for the best, god knows what would happen if someone heard what Juice went through. What he felt like he was _still_ going through. After a month of appointments, Juice was prescribed anti-anxiety and antidepressants. He had to take up to six a day of each pill. And right now, Juice had all six in one go.

He pulled off his leather gloves and shoved them into his back pocket, taking another deep breath before walking in the direction of the club. He looked the same as he did all those years ago, perhaps just a little taller. He still shaved his head, still wore jeans that were too big for him, and, when alone, he still wore the cut. He wasn't wearing it now, though, he had left it in the motel room he was staying in. He wouldn't dare show up to the tribe wearing their skin. That would be a step too far.

He wasn't sure what he was expecting out of today, he just _really_ missed his old family. He knew they all hated him, they all thought he was a rat bastard who betrayed the president. But.. he had hope. Each step that brought him closer to the club brought up more bile in his throat. His nerves were all over the place and the meds wouldn't kick in for another twenty minutes. His hands would not stop shaking, he was fiddling with a thread from his shirt to try distract himself. He felt his knees grow weaker and weaker; Juice would be surprised if he was still standing by the time he got there. There was sweat rolling down his face and soaking his clothes. He looked like the embodiment of anxiety.

His eyes caught sight of a reaper, and that was enough to set him off. He turned to the nearest bush and emptied his stomachs contents over it, falling to his knees. He shook his head and wiped his mouth when he was done, ignoring the horrified looks from the townspeople. They probably thought he was drunk. God, he wished he was. It took him another minute to get to his feet, his legs now as wobbly as jelly. He braced himself on a nearby wall, closing his eyes and breathing in and out slowly. In for four seconds, out for four seconds. In, out, in out. Over and over until he felt composed enough to continue. He opened his eyes and licked his lips, pushing himself off of the wall. He could walk easier now, he felt like he was in control of his own body again.

His heart hurt once he set eyes on the current clubhouse. He stood still, boots buried in the concrete. He started thinking of all the possible outcomes that this reunion might have. They could be pleased to see him and welcome him back with a hug and a kiss on the cheek, they could look him in the eye then turn and carry on with their day, totally and completely ignoring his existence. Or they could shoot him where he stood as soon as they see him. Juice shook his head of his thoughts. 'Go in there expecting the worst and you might be pleasantly surprised' his mother had told him once, when he was still a young boy who had hope for a place in this godforsaken world.

He took one last, long, breath in and out, then he walked up to the doors.


	2. REUNION

The minute the doors opened, it was like the whole world stopped. Juice's breath caught in his throat, and it took everything in him to stop himself from throwing up a second time. He looked like a lost puppy who had wandered into a wolf den. He heard a glass smashing to his right, then a string of curses in deep, familiar voices. His eyes were wide and frightened, staring straight at the men who had both saved and ruined him.

'Oh you fucking bastard!'

He heard the scrape of a chair and stomping footsteps. He was frozen in place, completely and utterly shell shocked as he felt strong arms wrap around him in such a tight embrace that it hurt. At first, the touch wasn't welcomed, it brought back memories that he didn't want to relive. Of people he never wanted to set his eyes on again. But then.. then it was bliss. He felt his anxiety melt away and then his hands clung to that worn leather, his face buried momentarily in the old shirt that smelled of whiskey and cigarettes. He was that young boy, just getting back from a run, engaging in a routine show of brotherly love. He was back in that grimy bathroom in the original clubhouse, after confessing his sins to a man far from holy. He was saying his final goodbye to those he was closest with, walking away from that little trust they had left. He was there. The elder man stood back and held Juice's face in his hands, grip firm; as if he could disappear within a second. Scared brown eyes found distressed browner ones. They shared that moment, silent words spilling out like a waterfall. Begs of forgiveness, tellings of truths. Everything juice had craved; everything he _needed_.

'Where the fuck have you been hiding?!'

Juice was let go, a sad but relieved laugh escaping his throat as he was passed on to another man. This man looked less worried and more impressed. As if Juice had pulled off some scheme that took tremendous amounts of effort. He had never received that look from this man before. Instead, he was used to the annoyed and angry glares he got when he managed to fuck up a job. His watchdog, his babysitter, that had been to blame for not keeping a closer eye on the runt of the litter. It wasn't all bad memories from this man, they bickered like two brothers, but loved like two friends. He looked Juice up and down, dark brow raised and sly smirk spreading on his face. He let a noise mixed between a scoff and a chuckle, shaking his head fondly as he took a step back to allow the last man to greet him.

He didn't say anything, he never was a man of many words. He preferred to speak through his actions. He grabbed Juice's hand in a harsh clasp, easily pulling the puerto rican forward so he fell against his muscled chest. His free arm went around his body and patted him on the back a few times. A subtle welcome, one that said everything juice needed to know.

Juice breathed in shakily, his eyes full of unshed tears and his smile shining brighter than it had done for even years before he went to Stockton. He thought back to all those moments over in Queens, when he had daydreamed about returning home. It always ended bad, with Juice lying in a pool of his own blood. Perhaps it was just flashbacks from prison, worming their way into his imagination. But all that didn't matter now. This was far better than what he had expected. He was lucky to have shown up when only these three men were there. He couldn't even envision what his old president will be like upon seeing his pawn again; after having sent him to what would've been his death.

Juice took a few moments to look around, seeing all the changes they had made to make this place more biker friendly. He was impressed. His gaze returned to the three men, all waiting and looking at him expectantly. He licked his lips and ran a hand over his shaved head, the prickles of short hair massaging his palm.

'Hi.'

He said simply, swallowing the rest of his anxiety with that one word. He was fueled full of adrenaline, his body was once again shaking; but this time for a good reason. And, for a moment, he was okay again. The nightmares that kept him up at night disappeared and were replaced with memories of a kinder time. The thoughts that made him scared of his own reflection fucked off somewhere unknown, hopefully to never appear again. But he knew they would. He hoped he could keep them away for just a while longer.

He was pulled into another hug, by the man whose hair had turned grey since the last time he saw him. Who before didn't want to even look at Juice, let alone hold him tight in his arms. Juice's mind kept switching from past to present, comparing both the times. He heard his own pathetic sounding choked sob, and he would've laughed if he hadn't broken down then and there. Hot, wet, tears fell down his face, dropping onto the other man's clothing. His eyes were watching his old brothers that stood behind them, both mimicking the other by standing with their arms crossed and legs spread.

Juice pulled back once more and laughed again, more at ease than he had been before. He started to wipe his eyes on his arm, but was handed a napkin from someone he hadn't realised was standing there. He did a double take, his eyes widening once more when he saw who had given him the paper towel. He ended up dropping the napkin to the floor, stumbling over to the tall woman like a child. She broke out into a wide smile and wrapped her arms around him, manicured hands rubbing comforting circles into his back. She placed a soft kiss on the top of his head, looking around at the small group of men, her own eyes becoming slightly misty. Her voice was wavering as she spoke, but she looked to her lover and was able to form a coherent sentence.

'You boys have a lot of catching up to do, go in the back, I can handle business out here.'

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If it wasn't obvious, in this chapter, Juice meets the following people, in order.
> 
> Chibs, Tig, Happy, Venus.


End file.
